Laughing Boy

He has a floppy hairdo
which he ruffles up and flicks
His speeches are all peppered
with endless vocal tics
He wears suits which look bespoke
but bespoke for someone else
He cuts a comical figure
with every lie he tells
But he’s ebullient and eccentric
a proper tumbling clown
So they let him get away with it
as he drags the country down

And they laughed and they laughed
until their sides were sore
And when they’d almost finished laughing
he made them laugh once more


He once got sacked for lying
in fact not once, but twice
Those who know him well can tell you
he isn’t very nice
He seems to get away with it
by shoving out his chin
And then he starts to ‘um’ and ‘ah’
followed by a wolfish grin
His private life’s a shambles
he likes to play away
If you want to see confusion
it’s him on Father’s day

But they laughed and they laughed
with many a loud guffaw
And when they’d almost finished laughing
he made them laugh once more

There was a woman long imprisoned
out in a foreign jail
He bungled, and he blundered
and once again he failed
He said “There’ll be no border
across the Irish Sea”
But millions soon discover
it’s a worthless guarantee
Idle and incompetent
he hadn’t read his notes
But it seemed of little consequence
he still gathered up the votes

So, they laughed and they laughed
like they’d never laughed before
And when they’d almost finished laughing
he made them laugh once more

They’ve given a bung to numerous chums
so now the cash is spent
Waves of sleaze are rising
but they’re crushing all dissent
A servile media shields him
as he digs his private trench
But through the walls is seeping
corruption’s fetid stench
Old wounds have been reopened
a fragile peace may shatter
But it won’t be him that pays the price
and it is no laughing matter

Yet, they laughed and they laughed
Till they were rolling on the floor
And when they’d almost finished laughing
he made them laugh once more

Questions were finally being asked
from where the money came
To refurbish his love nest
and who was in the frame
Some folk began to suggest
a dearth of integrity
Even daring to infer
some impropriety
But classic quips and stumbling jokes
all serve to aid the fool
Whose single tangible belief
is in his right to rule

Still, they laughed and they laughed
as they counted up the score
And when they’d almost finished laughing
he made them laugh once more

Entangled in a web of his own deceit
the walls came crashing down
The tide of toadies turned at last
it was time to dump the clown
A change of sorts was in the air
the mask began to slip
He stamped his foot and scowled with rage
And took a foreign trip
Showing not a shred of self-awareness
and never a hint of shame
Playing the role of the victimised
Needing others to take the blame

But they still laughed, and they laughed
till their knees began to buckle
He’s such a card, that tub of lard
and how he makes us chuckle

Finally exposed for what he was
He liked it not one bit
And many former acolytes realised
he was always full of sh*t
He slunk away from Parliament
The grifter nonpareil
Landing at once a well-paid job
With the detestable Daily Mail
It’s an inevitable consequence
that a man of such mendacity
Ends up scribbling for the rag
with scant regard for veracity

But yes, they laughed just like the drowning fool
still clutching at the straw
Realising too late that the joke was on them
and they finally laughed no more