C                     F   C

Come gather round Tories

          G            C

and hear as I sing

            G7                   C

For the love of one’s country

                      Am

is a televised thing

           G                 C

Take heed of this notice

               C              Am

purely stating our aims

                                  F     C

We must all play our part in

          G            C

This Patriot Game

First of all there's the mantras,

an essential dark art

Self-righteous outpourings, 

so learn them by heart

Look pious and saintly

so they all feel your pain

For that’s how we’re playing

This Patriot Game

If you’re being cross-questioned 

on Breakfast TV

A respectable bookcase

is mandatory

Some big hardbacked classics

show propriety  

On the wall stick a portrait 

Of Her Majesty

There is yet just one more thing

to pull from the bag

It’s always essential 

to be flying the flag

So the Union Jack will 

be there on display

Hanging all limp and floppy

but we like it that way

There’ll be a reaction

and much mockery

From tiresome lefties

at the dread BBC

But don’t be discouraged

there’s no need to stress

We’ll get much support from

Our chums in the Press

Our biased newspapers

will not let us down

They’ll shriek about traitors

insulting the Crown

Take heed of these wise words

that I do proclaim

And then play your part in

This Patriot Game