Platitudes

Hey, do us all a favour and cut to the chase

And wipe that sanctimonious look off your face

You’ve mastered sincerity, I’ll have to admit

it slides off your tongue, and you’re so full of it

No way could it mean something sinister

Just because you’re a Tory minister

Of course you care for the oppressed and downtrodden

For all the marginalised and the forgotten

But even these doubtful fixations are derailed

When your latest fears are flamboyantly unveiled

Until recently you’d kept it all so well hid

This sudden concern for the disadvantaged kid

Indeed, the impoverished child now tops your agenda

You are suddenly their most resolute defender

You’re ready to do battle for their cause

Which naturally no one ever attempted before

You’re standing so firm, you’re heeding the call

You will never take no for an answer at all

And all your subordinates need to be advised 

These unfortunate children must be prioritised

So proclaim your mission and do not delay

Get on radio and TV and have your say

Then do us all a favour and cut to the chase

And wipe that sanctimonious look off your face

For was it really so long in the past

When your words had a markedly icier blast?

Austerity then was the name of the game

And the poorest, as usual, would take all the blame

Benefits needed to be slashed right back

For there wasn’t enough cash left in the sack

Food banks were springing up all around

With at least one appearing in every town 

For the powerful and affluent required the dosh

Tax breaks were mandatory for the inherently posh 

But yet you stayed silent when all this occurred

If you ever dissented, you were certainly not heard

Did you cheer and gloat like your mates at the table

As benefits were casually slashed for the disabled?

Did you smugly assert on that woeful day

“We all have a duty to make work pay”?

But never was a finger so much as raised

In any attempt to increase the minimum wage

Or do away with abusive zero hours contracts

Or chase after those deftly dodging their tax

So do us all a favour and cut to the chase

And wipe that sanctimonious look off your face

For here we are ultimately in the year 2021

And I find myself wondering what’s going on?

Minister after minister suddenly there on the screen

Pouring out their emotions like an old drama queen

“Schools must be open!” they squeak and they bleat

“We must not leave children locked out in the street

They’ll get left behind, they’ll suffer for years

They’ll not pass exams, it moves me to tears”

And so they drone on, their hearts nailed to their sleeves

And I look back over the decade at what they’ve achieved

So, if you care so much now, what stopped you back then?

You’ve all been in power since May 2010

Its true there was child poverty around back in the day

But it’s increased by a million, or so experts say

And the blame cannot be laid at someone else’s door

Though I doubt if that’ll stop you - it’s not done before

But cease all the wailing and gnashing of teeth

You didn’t care then and that is the truth

Say what it is you are planning to do

But spare us at least the pious platitude

I have heard too many woeful declarations

Those prologues that prefix every statement

Those rambling soliloquies don’t cut any ice

We know deep down you’re still not very nice

It’s just a game and you play it so well

The learned-by-heart mantra you chant like a spell

One flip and you’re back on your pompous high horse 

A pop at the unions is obligatory of course

Despite all this posturing, you couldn’t care less

(Just ask all those working in the NHS)

Then do us all a favour and cut to the chase

And wipe that sanctimonious look off your face